i swear the previous post right there was supposed to be the last of it all. supposed to document the proof that there is SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME. because i just don’t finish everything i start out to do. because i eat everything with ketchup and mustard.

so there, here i am again, (un)willingly. it all started with me reading through what i wrote before, and then slowly realising what i could achieve with 26 characters, and before you can impregnate yourself, HERE I AM AGAIN!

this time though it’s going to be a little bit different. instead of trying to be different, instead of trying to improve the way i write, instead of trying to be organised, instead of trying to go with the flow, instead of doing everything else instead, i am going to do whatever i want, and whatever i don’t want.

that’s right, you can already begin to sense the internal conflict.

next, i would like to talk about self-worth.

it starts simply with a life-changing event. something to jolt a lifestyle into an out of the ordinary routine. the brain starts to question its ability to handle the pace of the event. meanwhile, the heart also deals with whether it can cope with the outcome of the situation. the brain is usually left hopeless in the face of distress and starts to reject new information. the heart concurs with the brain and begins a systematic shut down of the entire nervous system. the brain believes it is suffering from a psychological attack and requires external confidence to overcome it.

some people rely on friends. others rely on their inner concentrated strength. whatever the source, the brain feeds on the external inspiration in order for it to function again. sometimes it is able to bounce back into action. sometimes there is collateral damage and either the brain or the heart, or both suffer massive attacks.

there is a saying that goes, “that that doesn’t kill you, will make you stronger”. true, the brain’s reflex is now strengthened. true, the heart is better prepared to receive another life-changing situation.

unfortunately, the brain conducts an after action review and questions its self-worth. during this time, the person will either feel totally like shit, or only a little like shit. if confidence is shattered, the brain would be dead. if emotional stability is rendered unstable, the heart would be dead. either way, that that doesn’t kill you, has only left you dead.

so you see, it’s not how many friends you have that makes you a happy person. it’s how you react to an emergency situation and its consequences on the people around you, that make you a happy person.

i miss my sister.

i am in need of a girlfriend. i only look for one criteria. she has to be educated. i hate stupid girls like you. you are considered stupid to me. not only that, you are lame.