it’s a human tendency to put people who are of ‘higher’ status down. it’s my tendency to put people i’m competing with down, subject to a myriad of factors of course.
not that i really give a shit about morals.
it’s just like an obsessive compulsion to deliver the sadist in me.
no, i’m not mentally ill.
let us pray that i don’t meet that fucker who makes counting to 3 look difficult.
because then i’d have the power to make 2 people’s lives so miserable.
two days ago, i sat down and poured my bitter heart into a long and angry post about my angry feelings and my frigging problems.
and then my laptop decided to die on me.
at first i was annoyed, and really really pissed off. then it suddenly dawned on me; how unnecessary all this drama was, and how absolutely ridiculous i was being in getting this affected by it. yeah, it is true that a plague has decided to plonk its fat ass down on my life for god knows what reason, and yes, it is true that this particular plague won’t go away till it manages to see the light of day through its crack in its butt. then again, why get so worked up over something and over someone so terribly small-minded and petty?
as the mother said, i don’t need this job at all. i don’t need the money. I don’t need this shit happening to me. i shouldn’t need to stand for all this prejudiced crap just because some loser can’t get over herself and deal with the fact that there are other more important things in life to worry about. most of all, i shouldn’t have to tolerate being treated like a child day after day because of virtually nothing.
in any other situation, i wouldn’t have stood for it. in any other situation, right now, that person would be so far down in the ground that she wouldn’t see the light of day for the next hundred years. it just so happens that in this situation, i’m letting that person dig her own grave. i’m not saying i’m backing down, but we’ll just wait and see.
in other news, everyone around me seems to be going nuts over which university to choose, where to apply to, where to go, all that jazz you know? i’m not saying i don’t give a shit about anyone else but it’s hard for me to emulate all that joy/tension/incredible egotist sense of achievement and/or failure when i’m so far past that stage of worry and waiting. so yes, i’m happy/sad for you all but i’m becoming a little numb to it at the moment. all unis just look the same to me right now, in this period of never-ending waiting.
so i’ll just take it slow and easy now. no point getting my knickers in a twist. life’s too short to get bothered by pathetic meglomaniacal idiots.
